March 8, 2024. This is the day I decided to unmute myself.
I’ve been muted for almost four years, since a little after I released my book, Enduring Urgency. Prior to the release, I was making and posting videos, creating content, and interacting with people online. Let me rephrase the first sentence: I muted myself four years ago and today I am choosing to unmute myself.
Why did I mute myself? I could blame COVID. I could blame the atrocities that happened in the summer of 2020. I could blame being focused on business school and maximizing my experience. I could blame starting my real estate finance career and wanting to lean all the way in.
The truth is I felt frustrated. I felt ineffectual. I felt anxious.
The feeling of frustration came from publishing and launching a book without the impact I imagined. I’ve learned there’s a whole process to putting a book out into the world, it rarely just happens that you publish and people are immediately aware of it. And believe me, I haven’t given up on impacting people with this book.
The feeling of ineffectual (one of my favorite feelings is effectual) came from me not being in a leadership position and from not having redefined my definition of a leader. Coming from being an officer in the Air Force and having led in some capacity since high school, this was different. I have since learned anyone and everyone can be a leader at any time. My definition of a leader is “anyone who by virtue of assumed role or assigned responsibility influences people to accomplish organizational goals.” I did not create this definition, but I have since adopted it. At minimum I can consciously lead myself. And if I abdicate the position of leading myself, there are plenty of apps, people, and groups vying for my attention and willing to influence me to accomplish their goals.
The feeling of anxiety came from not knowing how people would respond to what I had to say and what would happen if I shared more of my thoughts and perspectives. I have since been reminded that God stands outside of time and space; he’s in control. And feeling anxious is wasting present energy on a future that may not come to pass. God didn’t give me a spirit of fear and timidity, but I was wearing those emotions instead of choosing a spirit of power, love, a sound mind, and self-control.
There have been many steps to getting to this point where I am pressing unmute. I’ll lay out a few:
- Joining the worship team at my church, Vive Oakland. Singing on stage and leading praise and worship unlocked a part of me (my singing) that I hadn’t really used. In my mind, my brother was always the musician. And while he is very talented, I had an epiphany one day that we have the same parents 🙂 profound, I know. But that allowed me to lean into my gift as opposed to setting it to the side due to feeling inadequate. I have since transitioned to the Next Steps (new members) team, but was reminded of the impact of singing at church when I sang in the choir for our upcoming worship album.
- Becoming a core energy coach. I’ll unpack core energy in a later post (or in a video), but for now just know that it’s about how you show up for yourself and others. The training has enhanced my emotional intelligence and ability to not only be there for others, but also be there for myself more consistently. Having the opportunity to coach and be coached by peers has been a tremendous benefit and has reinforced my belief in the power of coaching. Coaching has also increased my consciousness as it relates to the actions I take (or don’t take) on a daily basis.
- Leaving my real estate finance position and becoming a full-time leader developer (business owner). Phew, the entrepreneur journey has taught and is teaching me sooo much about myself. And I’ve grown a lot over the past five months since transitioning. How I view sales has changed (book: The Ultimate Sales Machine by Chet Holmes), my relationship with money is shifting (book: Secrets of the Millionaire Mind by T. Harv Ecker), how I show up in the world has changed (book: Energy Leadership by Bruce Schneider), and building my business with systems has commenced (book: Buy Back Your Time by Dan Martell).
- Re-evaluating my relationship with God and who I see him as in my life. And understanding that in His grace, God will allow us to settle at the level we choose to. This will for sure be a whole blog/video; for now, I’ll say I’m hungrier than ever in my walk with Christ. Yes, I am a Christian. Though, that currently may not give you any real understanding of what I believe and how I move through life. It’s vital that we “RePresent Jesus” (check out the book with this title by Dr. Dharius Daniels) instead of letting the loudest voices in our society act in a way that is antithetical to the Jesus of the Bible. I am on my own journey of unpacking the Bible from cover to cover and will share some of my thoughts in other spaces.
All of these reinforced my understanding of my purpose and my desire to build the company I’m building.
Bottom line: Leaders lead. And I’m done playing small. You’ll be able to see how committed I am through my actions moving forward. So I’ll end this post with an introduction to what I’m doing now. My company, LeadCommGym, provides a space for people to become the best version of themselves and the leader their team needs. No, we don’t focus on physical fitness. We focus on Leader Fitness – your mindset, emotional intelligence, and your ability to communicate. Why? Because everyone deserves a conscious leader who CARES. Everyone deserves a conscious leader who Communicates Authentically from a place of Resilience and Empathy, with a spirit of Stewardship. Everyone deserves a conscious leader who CARES at home, at work, in their communities, in their churches, in all positions of authority. And everyone deserves the opportunity to become a conscious leader who CARES. That’s my focus right now with the business I’m building – coaching, training, and consulting leaders. I’ll share more soon. I’d love for you to join this ride with me.
Let’s grow together!
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